Drug Free and why I can be an Idiot

I am coming back to life. Each day I feel better as my cough lessens. I must say I don't know if I would survive this world without the support of my family. Cassie and my mom were champs on being the voice of reason while my health was fleeting on Christmas Eve. I was pretty much an idiot in my response to seeking help. Cassie was very kind in her last post not to call me out too much. I still remember lying on the couch aching and burning up telling Cassie that all I needed was a cold shower and a nap and I would feel much better. Caregivers out there, you have a tough job if your patient is anything like me.

Why such an idiot? Don't you realize you have had roughly 15 months of treatment, two transplants and we're heading into cold and flu season? Cassie and I reviewed this question while I was in the hospital in order to have an action plan if my stubborn and ignorant personality comes out again while my body is crying for help. We've boiled down my naive and ignorant response as a result of years of intense physical training in sports; specifically as a Wolverine. It's not an acceptable excuse, but years of beating my body down to the point where it has zero say has definitely skewed my ability to answer the question, "How are you feeling?" We have noticed that as long as my pain or discomfort isn't extremely high, I tend to respond with I am doing fine.

Due to the recent bout with pneumonia and the flu, Cycle #6 has been derailed and I am drug free until we begin maintenance mid-January. I look forward to see how things go as we pull back the drugs and allow my bone marrow some rest from the beating.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year. Cheers and Domination in 2011. May it be a year of healing and great hope for us all!!!

-Phil