Cancer Sucks - From a Sister's Perspective

Cancer Sucks. After hearing about my brothers resent update on MM (Multiple Myeloma) I have a constant thought in my head of cancer. Why? Why him? Will they find a cure? When will I have to say good-bye to my brother? I hate these thoughts, I hate thinking of it. After dominating a year of not having a trace of MM my brother received upsetting news that the horrible crap is back. And since then it's been the only thing on my mind.

Whether you are someone who has cancer, who have dominated it or someone who is walking aside a mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, etc. who has this horrible thing we call cancer.....long story short....CANCER SUCKS.


I have been fortunate to become great friends with one of my co-workers who also found out that his Mother's cancer is back. Once he told me about that I shared my brothers story with him. And he felt bad for me. And all I could think about after he said that is that I feel bad for him. It doesn't matter what cancer is worse or who is battling it harder. Cancer is cancer and like I said before and I will forever...CANCER SUCKS.

And then yesterday I was waiting on a table of 2 couples both in their upper 70s. We got in a conversation of tattoos. As they got up and were about to leave the sweet lady grabbed my hand and said, "I see your tattoo." With a cute smirk on her face. I love telling the story of my tattoo.

For you who don't know ,I have Dominate tattooed on my wrist. My brother had Dominate bracelets made when he was diagnosed with MM. So instead of wearing the bracelet everyday I got it tattooed on my wrist so I have the constant reminder of DOMINATING life.

After I told the sweet lady of my brothers journey her eyes filled with tears and she told me that last week she was given the horrible news that she has kidney failure. She told me that her Dr checked it 3 times cause he even couldn't believe it. She told me that she can't even tell me when the last time she was sick, that the last time she had a cold was over 20 years ago. She was healthy, always ate right and took care of herself.

Sharing our stories was so touching.

May 2001

I told her about my feelings. Why my brother? Straight A kid growing up. A kid who pushed everything he did to the limits and beyond. Played Football at U of M.  Married a beautiful woman, got blessed with 3 ridiculously awesome rocking kids. Works hard to support his family.  Goes to church. And even though he has this crappy cancer he still wakes up everyday thinking ....Who can I help today?

Why, Why him?

And I came to this conclusion............God only gives you what you can handle. And I truly believe that.

When Phil was diagnosed in 2008, all I could think about was why didn't I get it? I wasn't a straight A student and I definitely wasn't the "perfect" teenager. Why give it to him and not me?

But watching and walking with my brother in his journey...I get it now. I couldn't handle it if it was me who had this crappy thing we call cancer. My brother can. He is without a doubt the strongest man I have ever met.

And there is no doubt in my mind that even though as of today there is no cure for MM..
...he will dominate it
...he will watch his kids grow
...watch them all graduate college and get married and have grandkids of his own!

Our family is strong....for god's sake WE ARE BRABBS.. #Dominate

-Laura

(youngest sister out of four)

Dominate for Kyle & His Team

I was recently made aware of a 19 year old named Kyle who is taking on AML up at UM C.S. Mott Children's Hospital. He is a rock star guy from everything I have heard about him. I was invited to visit him today (thanks Ann!) to help provide some dominate cheer as Kyle continues to try to knock the AML down to the point where he can go to transplant, and his only hope for a cure.

Being back at UMHS, but this time on my own accord and not because of a blood draw, chemo infusion or transplant, I was awaken again with the reality that there are people everywhere, everyday that we will never know who are giving their all to kick cancer and continue to dominate life. Kyle is one of them.

Dominate prayer, positive thoughts, whatever you may call it, so Kyle knows Love surrounds him. Also, join Team Kyle by considering to get swabbed and added to the bone marrow registry. You could save a life.

This one hurts

Last summer I received a phone call from Vada Murray after a little phone tag. We had no problem connecting. Both of us were diagnosed with cancers that were not very fitting. Vada, a non-smoker, was diagnosed with lung cancer and I received a diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma at 28, forty years younger than the majority of MM patients.

Playing football at Michigan and a freak diagnosis were not all we had in common. We both happened to have three kids, the oldest being a boy, followed by two daughters. I could not help but feel connected with him.

During the one and only conversation we had he stated that this was a battle he was not going to win. I really had a hard time hearing that. It's a reality with those taking on cancer...He knew his fate.

Last week Vada Murray passed away. Today as I attempted to give tribute to him and his family at UM's Relay for Life I broke out in tears for a man I hardly even know, but feel so close to. It hurts to think about his family right now.

My speech was focused on the Fight Back theme of Relay for Life. It was very fitting. Thinking of Vada makes me want to Fight Back. I have always just wanted to dominate, but now I also want to fight back for him and his family. I don't have a lot of words right now for what that means, just tons of emotion probably centered on feelings of injustice for what his family is having to go through.

For all those who can make it, there will be a memorial service this Thursday at 11:00am at Cliff Keen Arena.

Down, Down, Baby!

The M-spike is almost DOMINATED! For the first time in almost three months and six rounds of aggressive chemotherapy later, my M Protein has gone from 0.2 to 0.1. I was starting to get pretty irritated from hearing 0.2, 0.2, 0.2, 0.2, 0.2 while aggressively treating the disease through consolidation therapy following two autologous bone marrow transplants this summer.

I realize everyone is different, but most of the young people I follow with MM have achieved CR (Complete Response) following induction therapy that was much less aggressive than mine, followed by a single autologous transplant. We have found that because my disease was advancing slowly, it has followed that same trend on its way out of my body.

To be transparent, this news brings a big sigh of relief. I had a number of folks remind me to remain patient and that a M-Spike of 0.2 is great, but when your goal is CR and you have been taking aggressive therapy for 4 months with no signs that the disease is diminishing; it can start to weigh on your emotions especially when you are physically being taken down to the weakest point in your life.

Thanks to everyone who has remained so supportive throughout this journey. We cannot thank you enough for the meals, the words of encouragement and other support that has come in various forms. A special thanks to Daniel for challenging me to believe that God has healing for me and wants to dominate this disease. My prayer for the entire week was to receive this word and live with an expectation that my M-spike would be lower.

Where to next? Well 0.0 of course! I begin maintenance therapy which takes me from three drugs to one; and the one that I will be on is only 60% the dosage. We will be checking the M-Spike again in 5 weeks.

I'll end with a picture of Coach Hoke and me after the Washington Kick. Watch out Myeloma and watch out Ohio!

Thankful Thursday #6: Caregivers

I am thankful today for caregivers; especially my own. I tell everyone that I think it is much harder to be the one walking along side the myeloma patient, than being the myeloma patient. The burden the caregiver has to carry is unimaginable to me. They have to educate themselves on the disease, in my case carry and deliver a baby, with two little ones already in the nest; and most importantly they have to be a rock.

Cassie has been all this and more. She's made sure we didn't lose our house when things got dicey, she has maintained focus on the kids so that there emotional landscape has not been wavered by this Myeloma Monster who entered our household over two years ago and she has had grace for me during my highs and very highs thanks to Dex.

When we started are dating relationship we called ourselves PnC...not to be confused with the bank that acquired our beloved National City. It stands for Team Phil and Cassie. I would be lying if I said the last year treatment has been nothing but X's and O's for (that's kisses and hugs, not a football schematic), but we have definitely continued to be united in our quest to dominate Multiple Myeloma.

As I transition out of aggressive treatment in the next couple of months, look for Cassie to return her voice back to MM for Dummies to share her insights on how the last year went, what we've learned and where we might still be struggling. She is good at keeping it real with a healthy dose of humor. Here is her recent post in her new series titled "Resourceful Wednesday."

Tomorrow (Friday) I will give a physical health update explaining what post-tandem auto-transplant consolidation therapy has meant to me and my body. By then I should get an update on my M-protein/spike which I hopeful for a decline from the steady 0.2 result I have been given over the last 3 months since starting this treatment regiment.

Please share in the comment section what your caregiver has meant to you. Better yet, if you are a caregiver, please express what the role has been for you.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

"Round 4" or what the doctor calls Cycle #4 is now underway. There's talk of staying in the ring with my Multiple Myeloma for two more additional cycles after this one to ensure that we give it our best shot. I was looking forward to being done, but when taking on cancer you need to dominate it, and that means you need to be agile, mobile, flexible and maybe a little hostile at times to give you that extra energy to stay in the ring and make sure you knocked it down and out!

On a side note, thank you everyone for the growing participation in Thankful Thursdays. Amidst the twist and turns of this cancer journey that started over two years ago, being thankful and hopeful have been two key ingredients to keep me on the path of domination which is producing in me much optimism. Every week I encourage everyone to post something new that they are thankful for. Why wait till Thanksgiving to get started?

Friday Infusion is back...

The brave new world, i.e. life post two bone marrow transplants, is different. For one, as I sit here in at UMCCC's infusion center drinking chemo through a vein in my right arm, I am much more tired. Not even the dexiness from the Dexamethasone (steroid) is keeping me from being reminded of the tiredness presented in my physical body. Mentally and emotionally I am still the dominating Phil everyone knows, but my physical cells that move me from here to there are screaming for rest.

Regardless, I am still very passionate about beating this thing and I feel like I am in the 4th quarter as I take on a heavy chemo regiment of consolidation. I am expecting to hear two words, Complete Response (CR), by end of year and I hope to remain there for a very long time, if not forever. Time will tell the effectiveness of this aggressive treatment, and I am hoping my experience can be a benefit for me personally and my family in terms of keeping me around, but I also want to see the world of Myeloma continue to advance in the knowledge that will get everyone the cure they need. I sense it's coming...

Above is a photo of me giving a shout out to the U of M Swimming team that my father-in-law has coached for over 25 years. He's quite a stud and I guy who admire and respect. So although I love Michigan Football, I also have a big heart for the Swim Team and Water Polo ;)

Dominate Multiple Myeloma and conquer Notre Dame.

-Phil

P.S. If you want to join the domiNATION and raise funds to kick Multiple Myeloma...learn how by click here.

Phil's Vacation: Day +5

I have hit neutropenia...yippee! All that means is that my White Blood Cell Count (WBC) is below 1.0 and I must wear a mask if I leave my room and I can no longer leave the unit. Other highlights from Day +5 include:

• walking with allogenic STC patient
• folks came to visit
• Ruby fell asleep on my chest
• more rockband and mountain dew dominated
• Cancer Kicker Facebook page went over 5,600 fans!
• Zak finalized the new Cancer Kicker Foundation logo....how legit!?!?!

Phil's Vacation: Day +3

Today was great. I had awesome company, received six jars of pickles (ate one) and finished off with 1.5 miles walking and an hour of Beatles Guitar Hero. My new buddy Steve had an interesting comment about how we view time that was pretty profound, and I am hoping to dwell on it more as I dominate the rest of this transplant. Domination to all! -Phil

Phil's Vacation: Day +2

Thanks to my buddy Andy, I was able to get my hands on a full jar of dill pickles and some mountain dew. Both lasted under 15 minutes. I still have no appetite in this fight to get better, so I am having to pull out the big guns.

Permanent Domination

Today I will be admitted at UMHS for my 2nd bone marrow transplant. Yesterday I downed a couple of bottles of Melphalan intravenously through my new PICC line. The only difference I plan on seeing between this transplant and the last, is that I will not only be sporting my dominate bracelet, but also my rotation of Dominate shirts.

Over the last two months since my last bone marrow transplant I have grown in my determination to dominate Multiple Myeloma and advocate to that end. What has really kept me on the path of domination is having people as bold as my little sister showing a commitment to dominate by adding a permanent ink reminder that supersedes any rubber bracelet!



Over the last two months I was given the opportunity to advocate and bring the dominate message throughout the state of Michigan. Here is a list of the few things we were able to take part in:

• Channel 7 News: Cassie and I got a chance to be on the news

• WTKA 1050AM: Radio interview

• University of Michigan Kicking Camp: Spoke at Chapel Service

• Michigan High School Football All-Star Game talk: Provide dominate message to both teams after practice
  

• Michigan High School Football All-Star game: halftime interview and dominate talk to all players

Lastly, my goal for this transplant is to provide a recording at the end of each day doing an inventory of my whole experience to help prepare those who are approaching their first stem cell transplant.

2nd Half Kickoff: Monday, June 21st, 4:30pm

For those who have been tuning in to the Dominate Army vs. Multiple Myeloma, the second half of the game will kickoff this coming Monday with high dose chemo followed by my second bone marrow transplant in less than 3 months. Here's me kicking off against Michigan State in 2002....I think the final score was A LOT to 3....advantage Michigan!

It's very fitting that this weekend I'll be up at Spartan Stadium watching the 2010 Michigan High School Football All-Star game. They will be interviewing me at halftime where I will get yet another chance to say Multiple Myeloma 27 times in front of a pretty large audience. For all those with MM, we need to continue to speak up and educate folks about the disease.

This week I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with both teams and their coaches about what it means to Dominate and how I have been able to turn life's obstacles into opportunity. Just standing next to these guys made me feel like a scrawny former kicker. After I am through SCT #2 I am going to hit the iron until you can't recognize me!

The Dominate Army

Zak, President of the Cancer Kicker Foundation, used the term "Dominate Army" today in one of his facebook posts on the Cancer Kicker Facebook page and it really struck a cord deep within me.

One year ago July we were in Little Rock, AR seeking a second opinion from the renown, eccentric, caring and hilarious Dr. BB who recommended we start treatment immediately after uncovering over 100+ bone legions throughout my body. The cancer had gone from smoldering to a nice warm campfire. We decided it was time to dominate Multiple Myeloma.

Through this pursuit a force or "army" has been raised to help us build momentum and maintain some sanity. Even still today our church, family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, former teammates/coaches, medical staff are committed to bringing us meals and whatever we need as we sort through the chaos of being young with MM...which is allowing us to focus on one thing, dominating MM.

We are so thankful for the recent media attention that allows us to be a voice for this disease which is often mistakenly called "multiple melanoma". All of this could not happen without all the support around us. I think Matt (here's his caringbridge & blog), a young MM patient from Columbus said it best:

"I feel terrible for Myeloma. It's messed with the wrong people."

That's dead on Matt, Myeloma messed with the wrong people and now it has a whole army to respond to, the Dominate Army!

Thanks everyone for joining forces to dominate MM. -Phil

Channel 7

http://cancerkicker.org

http://dominategear.com

Dominate Shirts NOW AVAILABLE!

The Cancer Kicker Foundation is officially launched thanks to Zak Branigan, President, and caregiver to his amazing wife who just beat an aggressive form of breast cancer. Zak spent the last week working on our first production of Dominate shirts and pushing paperwork to get us incorporated. Our first order was pretty small, so we didn't have to break the bank to get these shirts to people who really want to support the cause. Make them go fast so we can dream big!

[Click here to order your dominate shirt NOW!]

Also, for anyone who purchases more than one shirt we will also send the equivalent number of DOMINATE bracelets. Buy 5 shirts and get 5 bracelets. There is no shipping charge. The plan is to channel all proceeds to get the Cancer Kicker Foundation off the ground so we can raise MILLIONS for cancer research targeted at finding a cure for Multiple Myeloma and supporting those affected.

To learn more about CKF, check out our Facebook Fan Page!

I am alive and so are the bracelets!

Cassie and I have been overtaken by the addition of a third kid tossed on top of the already chaotic, but fun, responsibility of parenting the lovely Ocean and Iris. What this means is we are way overdue for some blogs sharing how things went with my two week hospital stay during my bone marrow transplant and what it's been like a month after. I promise they are coming sooner than Cassie's 32 hour labor with Ruby!

In the meantime, we did order more Cancer Kicker - dominate Bracelets! To get your 73 bracelets click here. Make sure to send us photos of you and your loved ones dominating like these people. Ocean is a big fan of the new shipment, as you can see:

P.S. Please pray/send positive thoughts/whatever for a MM patient named Jodi. She is around Day +18 from transplant and her numbers are still not coming back. She is a relatively young Myeloma patient with a lot of life ahead of her. Thanks everyone.

TEDx Talk Now Online

TEDxUofM 2010 :: Phillip Brabbs from TEDxUofM on Vimeo.

I am a Shy Guy...really.

Michigan Football and Multiple Myeloma must be a match made in heaven because the combination is opening a lot of doors to engage folks in my journey with cancer. Ever since I was young I hated getting called on in class to give an answer. For me, giving a book report was worse than receiving a spanking from my father. If you know me, you know my face turns red if you just say my name. I blush like none other. I find it ironic that I ended up being a kicker because I really don't like that much attention...especially 110,000 fans in the Big House watching your every move.



The latest happenings include an interview for the U of M Student Athlete magazine, tomorrow I will be speaking at a Superbowl Breakfast where last year there were over 300 people and next week I will be interviewed by AnnArbor.com. I will also be working with the local chapter of LLS as their Honorary Chair for Light The Night Walk which will be on October 2nd.

I am so thankful for these opportunities and that I have the energy to go out and spread the word about Multiple Myeloma. In 2010 alone there will be 35,000 people diagnosed.

We all have a platform of some kind and I encourage you all to continue to speak up! There's a lot of great work being done in the area of Multiple Myeloma research, but we are still a ways off and need much more support. Let's continue to dominate together!

P.S. I completed my last Velcade infusion for Cycle #6 this morning. I forget to even mention all the crazy chemo my body is absorbing...which is definitely a good thing! Oh...and I just ran another 3 miles. No funk this time...I am just crazy. Here's the end result:

Myeloma Beacon: More Awareness!

I had the good fortune to sit down with Myeloma Beacon for an interview that went live today. Myeloma Beacon is a growing source of online information on Multiple Myeloma. They can also be found on Twitter by clicking here.

Here is the article that was posted today (click on title):

Personal Perspective: Former Football Star And Young Father “Dominates” Cancer With Optimism, Information, And Support

Cancer Kicker bracelets. You want 'em, we got 'em.

We're totally jumping on the silicone cancer bracelet bandwagon, guys....just look at our unborn child already representing in the womb in the picture below! We are All In for Kicking Cancer. Please DOMINATE with us! You can also order a Myeloma Dominate Shirt!

It all began when we decided to get some made for our friends who were running the BHBH run with Phil, kind of as a team thing. But when we saw that the minimum order was a hundred bracelets we started thinking, I bet there are people who would wanna rock these and here they are!!!!. So we had a few hundred made because, you know, the more you buy the more you save (I know, that makes zero sense but it got Phil to buy 500) and so now we must sell them to recoup the money we spent getting them made. Ahem.

Here's the lovely bling:

CANCER KICKER

dominate

And the inside of the bracelets is embossed with "Phil 4:13" which is Phil's personal favorite scripture verse. I wanted to put the one from 2 Kings where the punk kids are calling Elisha a baldhead but rock beats scissors so Phil 4:13 is on there instead.

If you want to show your support by sporting a myeloma-burgundy Cancer Kicker bracelet, you can purchase them online by clicking here.

Thanks, all. Keep dominating.