Monday, February 17, 2014

Cancer Sucks - From a Sister's Perspective

Cancer Sucks. After hearing about my brothers resent update on MM (Multiple Myeloma) I have a constant thought in my head of cancer. Why? Why him? Will they find a cure? When will I have to say good-bye to my brother? I hate these thoughts, I hate thinking of it. After dominating a year of not having a trace of MM my brother received upsetting news that the horrible crap is back. And since then it's been the only thing on my mind.

Whether you are someone who has cancer, who have dominated it or someone who is walking aside a mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, etc. who has this horrible thing we call cancer.....long story short....CANCER SUCKS.

I have been fortunate to become great friends with one of my co-workers who also found out that his Mother's cancer is back. Once he told me about that I shared my brothers story with him. And he felt bad for me. And all I could think about after he said that is that I feel bad for him. It doesn't matter what cancer is worse or who is battling it harder. Cancer is cancer and like I said before and I will forever...CANCER SUCKS.

And then yesterday I was waiting on a table of 2 couples both in their upper 70s. We got in a conversation of tattoos. As they got up and were about to leave the sweet lady grabbed my hand and said, "I see your tattoo." With a cute smirk on her face. I love telling the story of my tattoo.

For you who don't know ,I have Dominate tattooed on my wrist. My brother had Dominate bracelets made when he was diagnosed with MM. So instead of wearing the bracelet everyday I got it tattooed on my wrist so I have the constant reminder of DOMINATING life.

After I told the sweet lady of my brothers journey her eyes filled with tears and she told me that last week she was given the horrible news that she has kidney failure. She told me that her Dr checked it 3 times cause he even couldn't believe it. She told me that she can't even tell me when the last time she was sick, that the last time she had a cold was over 20 years ago. She was healthy, always ate right and took care of herself.

Sharing our stories was so touching.

May 2001
I told her about my feelings. Why my brother? Straight A kid growing up. A kid who pushed everything he did to the limits and beyond. Played Football at U of M.  Married a beautiful woman, got blessed with 3 ridiculously awesome rocking kids. Works hard to support his family.  Goes to church. And even though he has this crappy cancer he still wakes up everyday thinking ....Who can I help today?

Why, Why him?

And I came to this conclusion............God only gives you what you can handle. And I truly believe that.

When Phil was diagnosed in 2008, all I could think about was why didn't I get it? I wasn't a straight A student and I definitely wasn't the "perfect" teenager. Why give it to him and not me?

But watching and walking with my brother in his journey...I get it now. I couldn't handle it if it was me who had this crappy thing we call cancer. My brother can. He is without a doubt the strongest man I have ever met.

And there is no doubt in my mind that even though as of today there is no cure for MM..
...he will dominate it
...he will watch his kids grow them all graduate college and get married and have grandkids of his own!

Our family is strong....for god's sake WE ARE BRABBS.. #Dominate


(youngest sister out of four)


Linda said...

Thank you for the honesty of your post. Phil's blog was the first one we found four years ago when my husband was diagnosed with MM. Can I just say, though we've never met in person, we love your brother! He has helped and inspired us, and so many others, more than he could ever know. We have our t-shirts and bracelets, and "dominate" resonates in our bones here in NC! We were so bummed when Phil's numbers started to go up, but feel certain he will no doubt beat the beast back once again. Agh...if only they could find a cure! My husband has been in remission 4 years now, but unfortunately we know it may only be a matter of time before he too relapses...such is the nature of the beast. Wishing Phil all the best with his treatment, and with all the love and support from his family, friends and faith...he's gonna DOMINATE!! As you said, God has allowed this in his life because he has, and will continue to use him, to help others. So happy he is dabbling with writing a book and speaking anywhere and everywhere about his experience. Awesome!

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