Saturday, August 8, 2015

lucky number seven

Hi friends,

It's been seven years since we received news of Phil's myeloma diagnosis. It's such a bittersweet day, every year. I can't help but remember the hopeless, sinking feeling and utter trauma of learning that Phil had cancer. But I also can't help but be grateful for seven years when, at that time, we had no idea what was to come.

Strangely, it feels like an eternity ago and simultaneously like it all happened yesterday. Or even like it happened to someone else. I don't often visit this blog and read past entries because it makes me feel so sad for the Us of seven years ago. I wish I could visit the Me who would sit down and weep in the diaper aisle of Meijer at midnight when I was finally alone with my thoughts, and give myself a snapshot of just how exquisitely ordinary life would be in seven years.

Thankfully, myeloma is no longer at the forefront of our daily lives or thoughts. But it's kind of like a little guy that sits on my shoulder and taps me from time to time. I'm always aware of its presence. Myeloma is always just sort of there, but it doesn't scare me like it used to. Chemo continues, but so do our lives.

Because other things are always there, too. Our three amazing kids who never stop for a minute and fill our lives with so much laugher and awe and joy. Our families who move mountains to love and care for us. Friends who make us laugh and aren't afraid to ask how things are going. Our gratitude drowns out the cancer noise.

I am hopeful that in another seven years I will be able to write a similar blog. In the mean time, there are clothes to fold, dishes to wash and kids to take to the park. Ah, exquisite ordinariness.



Lorna A said...

I am so pleased to hear that you have lives as mundane as the one I had at the same age. Delighted that you have the joy of being berated by teenage kids, it will come.
Love to you all

Julie said...

Hi Cassie and Phil, thanks for the update! You know in this "MM blogosphere community" we all "worry" when one of our MM pals doesn't update, but I certain that NO news meant GREAT news for Phil and your family! So glad life has "normalized" for your beautiful family and I hope Phil gets another 77 years from this 7 year anniversary! Love and hugs to all of you :) Julie

Julie said...

Supposed to say: I WAS certain... silly blogs won't allow us to correct mistakes. Take care, and enjoy all the wonderful things in your lives! xoxo :)

Winter67 said...


My name is Patsi and I just turned 73. I was diagnosed with MM in December 2011.
I was on Revlimed and Dexamethasone and did fine until Sept. 2015. I got a massive UTI infection, which I did not know I had.( i know) Ended up in hospital for over a week and came home with a DX of DIC, which is Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation. Never heard of it.My oncologist told me I was very lucky. I survived. It can kill you. God isin control, and guess He was not through with me. My M-Spike before was 0.5 and now is 1.79. God, my Oncologist and me have a lot of work to do, but I will make it. I WILL NOT BE A 5 YEAR STATISTIC.

Judy Walton said...

i really love your blog on phil hope you continue to update my husband is newly diagnosed so i'm skowering the internet
judy walton calif

Linda said...

Catching up on blogs from what was a crazy busy period in our lives from August through December. I just love this post and your ability to phrase so much of what we all feel. So happy for your "ordinariness", and the joy of simply living your life without MM having to be the monster in the room. May 2016 continue to bring more happiness, and more of all the things that make you smile! I bet playing in the snow has been happening alot out your way!

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