One thing I have realized about living with and being around those affected by cancer, is it has the tendency to pull out a lot of raw emotion. Although I try to steer towards positive emotions by driving on the path of optimism, filled with hope, I at times will hit a bump in the road, that sends me a little off track.
This was one of those weeks where Myeloma got under my skin. To be honest, I can probably count on one hand the times Myeloma pissed me off. I can’t explain for certain why this count has been so low, but I have my theories. One being, I have personally chosen not to “fight” the disease in the traditional sense. I am not looking to muster up additional gusto to “battle” with Multiple Myeloma. Rather, I am choosing to #dominateLife, which may help me to be more positive and not get pulled into the negative thoughts that surround anyone fighting to live for another day, week, month or year. The struggle for me is held deeply within as I try to live a life that contains passion and fulfillment to a greater purpose; clinging the moments and time that I can still have a little say in.
BUT, then every once in a while the raw emotions such as anger and sadness will come knocking on my door; and they are unavoidable. I struggle to contain these emotions because I don’t have much experience in this department. Simply put, I feel mad and sad at the same time and I don’t know which came first. I do know that the root of it is watching others with Multiple Myeloma (and cancer in general) get knocked off the road and at times crash very quickly and painfully. The longer on this journey, the more I am presented with the reality that people die of Multiple Myeloma, and they die young.
Keep on the path, be real and dominate what life you have left,