Monday, March 2, 2009

Sinking in to the present...

(This is Phil speaking) 

At the start of my work day I was saddened to find out that a co-worker of mine about several cubes down suddenly passed away yesterday after just 10 days ago contracting some virus which put her in a coma. One of my work colleagues who was shaken up by the news said this to me in the hall: It's times like this when you consider your own mortality and start to wonder if you have made a difference; if you have made a dent in the world. Wow.....

I don't know how you feel about your own death, but I always thought to come to grips with your own death is something you do at age 88; not now, definitely not now. It reminds me of when I was a kid trying to figure out the whole "God-Religious-thing". I used to tell myself that I would figure that all out when I was married with a family.

Death is obviously very real for everyone and it can be frightening to consider; but I am starting to think that death is more of a companion than an enemy. There's something about considering your mortality that brings clarity to the soul. For me it's like when I am standing atop a cliff and I shudder at pairing over the edge to catch a glimpse of what I know is a magnificent view. Eventually I am able to calm my nerves, if only for a moment, and sneak a glance of nature's majesty before I scurry back away from the edge.

I left work today filled with joy at the possibility of seeing my children again and talking with Cassie about her day. I for the first time IN A LONG TIME started to experience all the abundant joy that is available in the moment.  I am thankful that I am in a position now where I am gently being pressed to consider each day as a gift and that I am able to get closer to the edge of the cliff to enjoy all that is beautiful and made to be enjoyed.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalm 118:24

1 comment:

Amy McKenna said...

Thank you for this post, Phil. So important for me to remember. Enjoy what I have while I have it. Good and bad. It's all part of living.